365 Challenge – A few days…

Life is flying by me.

Which is good and bad I suppose.

We are painting Natalia’s room. She had gotten a gift certificate from my sister for an occasion that I can’t even remember- a birthday? Christmas? and she chose the color last summer. It’s been sitting in our garage ever since. Finding free time to paint has been quite an issue. This gal’s schedule must rival the President’s. School til 230. Then Cheer for 2 hours then home just to eat then gymnastic’s for 2 more hours. That’s only if there isn’t a basketball game.

Having Nick help to drive has been an asset but baseball practice started for him which also pulls him and his father away which goes back to it just being me again.

I don’t know how these kids keep up.

I honestly wonder how I do it sometimes, too.  Lately more so than ever.

I am the only person in the house who is doing laundry, cleaning , cooking , running the errands and finishing the paint right now. I know I’m not telling the women of the world ( and some men) things that they don’t already know. I just needed a place to vent. Our dishwasher is broken (in addition to the stove, and the microwave, and the fan above the stove.. and the… ) and my husband is in no hurry to fix it. I therefore believe that he should be the one to do the dishes.. Makes sense, right? Somehow it’s not working out that way. And he certainly doesn’t have a disease that affects his hands quite like mine does. The kids were home for one day and I asked Nick to do the dishes while Natalia and I painted. That went over well. I told Nick that maybe his father is just confused about what decade it is because I wear aprons in the kitchen,that maybe he thinks dishwashers just haven’t been invented yet… ?!?  I think I may have to stop wearing aprons for a while. See if it changes things. I’m open to suggestions.

Anyway… I am still trying to stay on top of my photo group challenges. But I’m failing miserably.

Here are day #27 – outside

and Day #28 -inside.

Sunday – #27 Outside– we had a snow day. I took a break from painting and looked out of our window and saw those footprints. I was so confused. Which way was this person going and exactly *how*were they walking? what happened to the rest of  their footprints?

Of course I had to take pictures while we were painting..

So , Day #28- Inside-

You’ll notice we painted “inside” Natalia’s room. You also may notice up in the corner that some of us had a bit of difficulty painting inside the lines. And that’s OK. “it gives it character” … Right gals? 😉

When people ask me what color Natalia chose to paint her room the best descriptive I can use is ” Tiffany box blue” . I find that almost 90 % of women can recall what I mean immediately. Tiffany box blue is an iconic color. It’s more than just a color .. it’s a dream for many a little girl, too. My daughter picked that color along with black trim and some black and white carpet/ curtains and has unknowingly made herself her own little Tiffany box!

Two wonderful women in my life sent me a gift from Tiffany’s as a special , *very* special gift when I first started treatment. It was a horseshoe necklace.. to “let the luck fall in”…. (you may have seen this photo before – as self portrait I did as a tribute to those 2 amazing women.2 special gals who helped me get through those first 10 days of treatment.)

Getting that beloved blue box in the mail was such an incredible experience for me. I hope someday to be able to do that for others, for my daughter, too. But for now, this was as close as I could get…

I know it won’t mean nearly the same thing to her, but I sure loved seeing the smiles on her face the painting days! And as fast as the days are going right now, I’ll treasure each and every one of them while I can.

 

 

365 Challenge- Day #26 Guest

Day #26- Guest.

Meet Lisai. Stunning and dark. Robust. Like a great cup of coffee, she is!

Stark contrast to my fair ginger, Natalia.

So when the snow started to fall, I simply had to get them out there together. Could not have been more pleased with the results. The camera loves Lisai! I just wish Lisai loved the camera as much as it loves her.

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The Sort of Hope Who Lived in 2012

My how times have changed. Mike and I are enjoying a fabulous stir fry that I’ve prepared at home, our very quiet home and now the children are the ones who are out, and we are the ones staying in,  owed in part to this cold I can’t seem to shake. But it’s no big deal, I never cared much for New Year’s Eve anyway. I feel like it’s rookie night. All the prices go up, and the people who never party go out. Not for me, thanks. Give me my pj’s and the quiet. I don’t need the noise and the crowds.

I’ll stay home and watch the recaps. Read about words we don’t want to make it to 2013.. like Yolo (eew) or fiscal cliff. I’ll lament the passing of my treasured light bulbs. I’ll thank the Myans for being wrong. I’ll say a little prayer for all of the innocent children of Sandy Hook and the other victims of terrible, senseless crimes this year ( like Mike’s young cousin Timmy, a murder victim back in Feb of 2012). I’ll continue to think about the people still rebuilding from Super Storm Sandy.

And I’ll praise women like Jennifer Livingston the news anchor who stood up to the bully who called her fat.  ( I blogged about that before here: read on for more..) I’ll be thankful that her words went viral in a matter of hours. I’ll be hopeful that perhaps just one girl will listen. Hopeful that perhaps just one self image of a fragile teen age girl will be saved. Hopeful that maybe 2013 will be the year we can knock social media bullying down a few pegs.

thank you Kevin Brett of Soul Imagery for allowing me to edit this.

And then, because a woman who has walked a mile in my shoes has finally convinced me to stop looking at all things I can’t do and instead celebrate the things I’ve done, I’ll look at what I’ve managed to be a part of in this past year.

2012.. my highlights.

I was somehow able to keep up with my tumble off champ, my All Berks/ All State Player, my Level 7 USA Gymnast who medaled many times, my HS cheerleader/2 time tumble off champ, another NHS member, My Summer Love- (Schuylkill Berks Legion League Berks Co Div Champs )~oh what a season~! , a 2 x Tourny Winning 18Y Berkshire Showcase Team, a permitted driver to a licensed driver. Natalia turned 14 Nick turned 16. Seems impossible. What am I forgetting?

On my birthday I said good bye to the family Jeepster. Jeepster had been a part of our family for nearly a decade. I have yet to replace it.

In 2012 I personally loved a few and lost a few – {my ball buddy ~ “you know what I mean?” },  flew to South Dakota for my first vacation in years, spent 7 whole days with the James Gang & saw my brother get married. Was able to once again participate in Cups of Compassion and feel what it really means to give of one’s self.

Sadly, I’m still learning that no matter what you think, no one or anything is ever truly as it seems and that people can still manage to surprise you even after 40.

I’m thankful for the chances I was given to share my talents this year. I’m so grateful for those who shared theirs with me.

This year I survived another 7 day inpatient coma and 5 outpatient treatments to help control and slow the progression of my 12 year battle with fully body/ internal RSD.

Oh and I started “allsortsofhope.com”.

As far as this life I lead, well, I owe so much of it to you, my friends who helped to keep me in this game called life yet again.

I am grateful for my new audience and as always, treasure my old one.

13 is my lucky number. I have a feeling 2013 is going to be a great year.

Stick around, won’t you?

The Sort of Hope Who Has A Snow Angel

“When it snows, you have two choices, shovel or make snow angels” ~ unknown.

look which we picked!

 

My own Snow Angel

..in a flurry…

3…2….1…

My Philadelphia Freedom is all but mine!

Treatment day is almost here.

Had a terrific day today, all because I am forgetful old lady ;}

Went out for dinner with my girlfriend last night and left my glasses in the restaurant. This is the 2nd time that I have done this now. She told me she is going to get me the ‘chain’ for around my neck to hang my glasses from like the older ladies wear. I’m really *not* that bad, am I? I fear the answer.

Picked up my son and daughter and her BFF to go retrieve said glasses which happened to be at a shopping center also. Provided some entertainment. Nick tried on mens running pants which make a suitable double for “yoga pants for men.” Nick is blessed with a big booty. He is proud of it, as well he should be. Hours of endless pitching went into that thing.

Had a blast with the kids.

 

Today was also the first day of hunting season in our county, which is why the kids were still off of school. Not sure hunting of what ( I don’t hunt) but looks like these turkeys weren’t taking any chances, caught them running across the road today headed into a nearby field. Or maybe they were just grateful to be around for one more year.

Realized I have been spending far too much time alone and sitting. Needed to shake things up a bit, so when we got home and the girls wanted to play photo shoot,  I knew I couldn’t say no. Though it was far too tempting to do just that and crawl into my chair. I figured it would be at least 2 weeks until I could play again , so off we went to find a spot. Should preface this by saying it is about 30 degrees tops here. The body really want to sit at home, but the brain knows I need to be moving. So move I did.

Natalia was wearing a gown that I wore to 2 proms in 1985 and later lent to my high school best friend to wear to her junior prom in 1986. She isn’t with us any more so the dress means even more to me now.  It was really special for me to see my daughter wear it. I hope Beth would be proud of the work we did today. I still miss her every day.

 

We were out around the golden hour- magic lighting. It truly was magic. Sadly, upon review, Miss Natalia was not pleased with herself today, but I was. I feel like the love that these two best friends share for each other is so apparent in their photos. Reminds me of the friendship I had with Beth so very many years ago.

If you are lucky enough to have a best friend that you love too, do me a favor and tell them- today.. because you just never know.

Was hoping to have the pics from the photos that I did ‘on the other side of the lens’ to share before I left for my treatment but, sadly, I don’t have them just yet. Should give me something to look forward to when I get back, though!

In the meantime…. as I have come to say~

” I’ll catch you on the flip side of the K” my new Blog Buds.

*\O/* if you are the praying sort, please throw one up for me, if not, your good thoughts are appreciated as well.

Thursday, 7am.

HERE I COME MY PHILLY FREEDOM.

 

 

The Thanks and Giving Sort of Hope

“Nothing says loving like something from the oven. ” ~ How many of us have some love waiting to fly out of our ovens right now?  For that, I am thankful. For the oven, for the electricity, for the family to eat the food and for the food itself.

Wanted to take a moment to express some gratitude to my new found blog friends on this holiday all about Thanks… and giving.

I can’t believe it’s only been about 12 weeks for me since the discovery of this word press world. I am truly grateful for the warm reception. You all have exceeded my expectations of this thing called blogging.  I have discovered some incredible talents around the globe as well, making it even more enjoyable for this gal to rise and shine every morning, and for that, I am also quite thankful. For your continued giving of yourselves, we others are so blessed.

I have had such a wonderful week. I am now officially under one week until my next treatment. So very thankful to all of those who have helped distract me to this point.

I did an incredibly fun photo shoot with my very talented friend Kevin Brett from Soul Imagery. Can’t wait to see the results. Went so far out of my comfort zone. Ditched my stuffy conservative self and even donned some tiger striped spandex and crawled into an antique claw foot cast iron tub! Many thanks to my uber talented big sister Holly James for transforming me from plain jane to something else. ( not sure what?) Very thankful for people like Kevin and my sister who share their talents with me. Willingly.

My oldest has passed his driver’s license test and is now driving on his own. His first trip sans adult driver was a trip to the not so local McDonalds with his sister. Watching your older most prized possession drive your younger most prized possession out of your driveway is a very surreal experience. Watching them drive back in, however, is one of the best feelings in the world. I am thankful for their safety. I will continue this thankfulness every day for the rest of my life.

I saw an incredible sunset this week while I waiting to pick Natalia up from Cheer practice. I am very thankful that I can still see. That there are still sunsets and that I can still take pictures. ( even though this was only a cell photo.) I am thankful for colors so beautiful that it is impossible to miss their glory. I am thankful for things like smart phones that keep me in touch with my friends and family and allow me to take pictures on the fly. What would I do if I couldn’t take pictures 24×7? Or text!

I am thankful for things like cappuccinos, and hugs and kisses, and baseball games and gymnastics and cheer. And children with talents. For children’s laughter and for smiles that light up a room.

I am thankful that I can still get out of bed by myself every day. For whatever amount of time is possible, it sure beats being stuck there all day. And for the days that I am stuck there, I am grateful for really soft sheets and pillows that don’t hurt my ears.

I am thankful that when I told my children to clean out their closets and their drawers because the people who were affected by Hurricane Sandy lost everything and needed clothes, that my children didn’t miss a beat. I am thankful that they understand Giving. Many teenagers these days simply don’t .

We have had a tradition of “Giving” on Thanksgiving since my children were little. I always made them pick a few toys that they were willing to part with for the Children’s Home or another charity. I always wanted them to understand how to be Thankful for what they did have.

I am thankful for so very many things – friends, family, LOVE, patience and understanding, but I promised myself this wouldn’t become “one of those” blogs.. and I fear it’s starting to become that.

Happy Thanks and Giving my online friends.

~ Remember  ” There is always, always something to be thankful for” ~ I think that’s an Annon. It’s a long time fav. ❤

The Progressive Sort of Hope

Let’s talk about Social Media.

I’m in a bit of a heated debate with someone right now about Social Media and children, specifically teens…

When I was pregnant with my now 16 year old son, I sold homepages to companies. Imagine if you will, a world not familiar with this thing called The Intenet. It was not quite 2 decades ago. These large companies I was calling to offer an internet presence to had never even heard of this thing called “The Internet”. Back then the only people with email addresses were college students, Libraries and some very large companies. I remember a collegue and close friend of mine trying to sell a home page to a very respected retailer when the CEO told her ” No one will ever buy anything over this thing called ‘the internet.” I’d imagine he would like to eat those words now. He probably didn’t have that title for very long, either.

Shortly (in relevant terms) after the Internet was born , Facebook was created. Then Twitter and things like Instagram, etc. New and fascinating pieces of Social Media are being born for this world to enjoy (or not) practically every day. Along with Social Media, come the ways to use that media. Laptops and Smart phones, iPods and iPads. I know my children, especially my daughter and her friends document practically every moment of their day with their Smartphone. Photos of her and her friends and their daily movements are plentiful. Heck, they even take pictures of their conversations!

My kids, who live in the same house, saying goodnight to each other. Natalia kept a screen shot of their conversation.

To that end, it is my contention that Social Media is here to stay. I take the stance that rather than deny kids access to things like the Internet  and it ‘s offerings ie: Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, etc , it is our job as parents/adults to teach them how to handle such things. We need to teach them how to deal with the ramifications of their behavior on said sites and how to use them wisely.  It is our responsibility to teach them that whatever is posted today, will be there in their tomorrows.

I have come to learn that not everyone shares these views and some people close to me believe that it is better to shelter the children from these things. Lock them away, if you will. Deny them the right to use them. I fear that doing so will only harm the kids and make it worse for them once they reach the age that we are no longer in control of their actions. I feel as though behavior like that is as antiquated as the dial phone.  

Social media is a part of everything we do these days. We can order our dinners, select our new clothes, even turn on our lights, start our cars and control the environment of our homes all in an instant and all within one or two clicks of a mouse or swipe of a finger. I think that we are foolish to think that our children should not be involved in that world.

If someone bullies my child in the Social Media world, rather than yank my child from that world to shelter and protect them,  it should be my job to teach my child how to handle it. To give my child confidence and strength. To teach them what to do about it and provide them with the valuable lesson that bullying is never ok, whether it’s a spoken or a written word.

A big part of being a teen is pushing and testing limits. When we were teens I am fairly certain ( if failing memory serves) we cursed, we complained and we teased. The difference being,  it was probably in our best friend’s basement or in the school yard. It wasn’t visible for the world to see. Now, it’s available  for all of our “friends” to see AND to comment on 24/7.  (Friending- a whole other blog I can’t wait to write…) I suppose that’s the incredibly big difference. We could shut the world off and go to sleep, safe in the comfort of our homes and away from the constant drama.  But our children can’t . It never goes away for them and it is up to us as parents to set their limits and to educate these children how to balance real/tangible life *and* their Social Medial lives that they live “in” their Smartphones.

How can we expect our children to evolve into successful adults unless we provide them with the experiences and tools that allow them to grow, to succeed and yes, to feel hurt and also to fail?  (The real world is not always a positive place, as much as we wish it were so.) Maybe once upon a time those experiences happened on a playground, but now those life lessons sometime happen in a laptop or on a Smartphone. These devices are every bit as much a part of their world now, too. Rather than shelter them from it, I want to allow my children every opportunity to learn from these new worlds that I can.  And just as their world around them is changing so,  I believe, are the roles of  their parents.

I feel as though denying our children access to these amazing ever evolving things like Social Media and Smartphones would be denying them , as well as ourselves access to the  future and I for one , am too excited about the future to do that.

Your thoughts?

This pics from May of 09. Couldn’t find any other pics of me or the children on the computer. Best I could do. I need to take some random pics for this blogging thing, it would seem.

Pop Calls Them Pixies

“We’ll be Friends Forever, won’t we, Pooh?’ asked Piglet.
Even longer,’ Pooh answered.”
― A.A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh

My daughter Natalia is quite an amazing young lady. Having been put on bed rest at 28 weeks into my pregnancy with her, she is not only one of my greatest challenges in this life, she has also been one of my greatest rewards. I like to tell people though, that even after being put on bed-rest at 28 weeks for premature labor, I ended up going past my due date with Natalia and had to be induced. That’s the thing about my daughter Natalia, she does everything her way. On her on time and at her own pace. And that became apparent at a very early age.  She is strong -willed, stubborn and determined.

She could walk early, talk early and ‘give direction’ ( read was quite bossy) at a very early age. One of our favorite memories of Natalia was when she lifted her beautiful little red head and blurted out in a crowded store for all to hear (at the toddling age of 3 )  ” Mommy, Nicky is antagonizing me!”

We simply had to find a way to channel all of her energy. I was injured when Natalia was only 2. Dealing with 2 toddlers while on crutches full time is difficult. So we needed to find something to do with them to help get their energy out. By the time Natalia turned 3 we had enrolled her into dance classes. By the time Natalia turned 4 her instructor had informed me that a ballerina she would never be. Fortunately for me, their was a mom in our class of a very talented gymnast in the area who recognized what Natalia just *may* be.

By the age of 5 we had enrolled her in tumbling classes. It didn’t take her long to get her first solo. She immediately began to excel.

By the age of 6 her Pop-Pop offered to enroll her in a local gym to try out some of the equipment “just for the summer”, as a birthday present. That  was June. When August rolled around, she was offered a chance to begin training on their “team training program” that they called “The Sparklers” at that time.  It was then that she met her best friend Brianna.

Fast forward 8 years. Brianna and Natalia have grown up together. Theirs is a friendship of mutual respect. I have watched them evolve as gymnasts and as people. I am incredibly proud of them both. Brianna’s family has been beyond generous to my daughter over the years. They treat her like she is theirs. She has traveled with them, stayed with them and vacationed with them. I joke that in the summertime Brianna’s parents and I share custody of them. I wouldn’t have it any other way.

I am delighted that their friendship has remained steadfast. I have seen very few serious arguments. Very few typical girl squabbles. Maybe because they go to different schools, or maybe because they are just that close. For whatever reason it is, I am grateful.

Bri and Natalia are my 2 favorite subjects to photograph. Brianna will humor me almost as much as Natalia does.

Brianna’s Pop has moved in with them recently. It hasn’t been an easy adjustment for her. But it makes me giggle when he calls them “the 2 Pixies” . I have named my collection of photos of them over the years ” Pop Calls Them Pixies” in his honor.

I love to see their joy when they are together. Love to hear their laughter. Even love to hear them argue a bit over who gets to stand where or wear what. Because that just means they care. And caring is a good thing.

I lost my best friend when I was just 16 years old and I would give the world to hear her crazy laugh again. Or even just to argue with her.

These are a few of my favorite ( older) photos of them. My daughter’s schedule has been so crazy we haven’t seen much of Brianna lately. I’ve been waiting to get them both out in front of my lens again. It’s been too long. I’m sure my daughter will let me know when the time is right.

The Sort of Hope Who Gets to do This

“Life may not be the party we hoped for , but we should all dance” ~ somebody at some time said it.

Welcome to their party.

Homecoming 2012.

I am the last person to post my homecoming pics so I decided I’d post a few of the outtakes instead of just all of the happy ‘smile for the camera’ shots.  Aren’t I lucky that they allow me into their world?

While we were in the backyard of one of Natalia’s friends, a neighbor of hers came out and asked if we would like to come inside and use his unique home for some photographic opportunities. His ‘home’  was what I can only describe as one of the most beautiful, cleverly decorated old factories in our quaint little town. Hardwood floors, mile high ceilings, incredible stained glass detail throughout. It resonated character and charm. I am only sad that I didn’t take the opportunity to photograph more of the home as well as the girls with some of his favorite toys. It definitely was a different way to shoot homecoming photos.

It is Tues as I post this and it’s taken me this long to recover from our weekend. I trust the teens have recouped quicker.

My favorite “getting dressed up for something with someone else ” song…

~ “you wear those shoes and I will wear those dress” ~

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3YcNzHOBmk8