365 Challenge – Day Feb #3- Bedside

Feb 3- BEDSIDE

Confession:  I cheated on this one. I knew that I had already taken a photo (with my Droid) that means more to me than any new one I could possibly take. It is one I had taken last year for no particular reason on January 12, 2012 .  This is the lamp next to my bed.  It is “adorned”, if you will, with all of these necklaces, which were all given to me by one friend or another at some time during my 12 year RSD journey. They all mean something to me and they are usually the last thing I see before turning out my light at night and the first thing I see when I open my eyes in the morning. Each are a symbol to me that I do not fight this battle alone. They give me strength, and they encourage me. Though I know they would be better preserved tucked away in my jewelry box, I will always leave these particular necklaces hang on my lamp, by my BEDSIDE, so that I know that no matter how hard it gets, I am never alone!

Day Feb #3- BEDSIDE.

bedside

365 Challenge – #6 Feb ~Saved (Up)

hopenecklace1

My poor little neglected blog. How I’ve missed you!

My apologies… I started a corresponding facebook page! ~ https://www.facebook.com/Allsortsofhopecom?ref=hl

My new FB page!~ Go ahead, check it out.

Then I went  to about five trillion basketball games, a few gymnastic competitions and tried to recover from all that stuff. Having some trouble with my hands, too. Trying to keep the keyboarding/ processing to a minimum.

SAVED (UP).

In this photo, I am wearing pants that I , Hope the clothing hoarder, had SAVED from, no kidding, the early 90’s. I had also taken this photo using a Minolta lens with a Nikon adapter that a friend had recently given me that he had SAVED from years gone by.  In addition, the lovely silver necklace that I wear proudly around my neck  has a silver ribbon with the word HOPE engraved on it. It was a gift from a woman who had SAVED it for a while til she remembered to give it to me.  I waited quite a few hours to get my knuckles un-swollen enough to be able to type even just this pathetic little paragraph. So in essence you could say that  all these things had been SAVED UP for- just to make this photo.   (kinda? sort of?) .

It’s a stretch at best. But right now, I’m saving up for so many things the best thing I could think of  for “Saved up ” was my actually my new ( old) car that I finally went out and purchased after months and months of not having. However, when it came time for my car to make it’s photographic debut, it wasn’t home because my son is now driving it as his was just hit while being parked outside of our home. You see, that’s how we seem to be doing things in this house lately. One step forward, two steps back. It’s a good thing that I saved up for it, though, or we wouldn’t have anything to drive.

I’m also trying to save up every last bit of energy and strength I have. My vision is starting to play tricks on me too. I’m getting anxious. I’ve got a treatment in just 21 days! And that’s the big winner for SAVED UP, I suppose…. the strength and energy it took me just to do this whole thing. I pray no one ever truly understands what I mean by that.  Sadly, I know that there are far too many of you who do.

Day #6 of Feb- Saved Up

365 Challenge #15 Confusing

I promised myself that this year I would try to learn as many new things as I could.

To push my brain to it’s limits.

RSD patients can be found to have  damage to the same parts of their brains as stroke victims or Alzheimer patients. Part of my testing for my ketamine infusions made me all to aware of just how far my condition has messed with my brain. Part of the very reason that we have RSD at all is because the wiring in our brains has some how gotten all messed up and the pain signals have become confused somewhere along the way. Thereby making the simplest little tasks sometimes very challenging.

This little project took me almost 3 hours. Interrupted by making dinner, but three hours nonetheless. I was so confused while I was trying to do it. But I did it. And my brain held up. Now I’m just exhausted. It’s not perfect nor exactly how I really wanted it, which was the hardest part for me- allowing myself to say something was finished before I considered it “perfect.”  Nonetheless, I was so proud of myself when I finished it. Though it was very difficult for me to complete this task, very confusing, I did it!  Just don’t ask me to do it again 😉

 

– PS- I should get “bonus points” – because this photo is of my teenage daughter and though she is beautiful and I love her, teenage girls are nothing if not confusing!!

 

Day #15 Confusing

Confusing

The Sort of Hope Who Has A Daughter That Can Fly

Natalia’s first gymnastic competition was on Saturday. She competed last year as a Level 7 USA Gymnast and this year is now an Advanced Prep Optional ( it’s a level for girls who don’t quite have all the skills for Level 8 or those who for whatever reason just aren’t ready to compete the next compulsory level  quite yet. )

We could not have been more pleased with her performance! Gymnastics is such a fascinating sport to me. These girls train so intensely. I can’t wait for competition season so that I can be surprised by all of the new tricks that  Natalia and her teammates have mastered during the off season. This year was no exception. Natalia has added a layout full twist to her floor routine. Floor is my favorite thing to watch the girls compete and I honestly think it’s the thing that our gym tends to excel at the most consistently.

Yesterday was no exception. Natalia ended up doing very well for her first meet- she placed First All Around (36.00). Captured a 1st on beam (9.3) and floor (9.25), and a first on bars (8.95) and a third on vault (8.5).

There was a bit of a some excitement and a resurgence of interest in gymnastics last year following the Olympics. I could not have been happier for the girls at the gym. I feel like what these gymnasts go through is sometimes underrated and under-appreciated and surely under-valued because it is not a school sport. I get upset because I personally think that they don’t get the recognition that I feel they deserve. If people knew how much work these girls put into learning just one simple ‘trick’, maybe they’d value the sport a bit more. These girls are true athletes. Hours and hours spent in a gym to master their craft. They have to be braver and stronger and even more courageous than most other athletes. Fear is a word that they check at the door.

Competition days are difficult for me. (though surely nothing like they are for the gymnasts!) They often involve long rides in the car, sitting for hours on cold hard bleachers and then long rides home again. We never eat right. Traveling with me is like traveling with a toddler. I ‘ve got my “goody bag”- water, snacks, socks, meds, music -for distraction if the pain gets bad, pillows, blankets, gloves… If you’ve learned anything by now, you know that things like travel and long days I don’t get along real well, but the only times I have missed her meets were because of treatments. If it were up to me, I’d watch her and her team compete every weekend! I’ll just deal with a longer recovery time afterward. She won’t be competing forever and while she is , I’m going to do my darndest to make sure when she looks up, she sees her mom in the crowd.

I’m not sure why, but yesterday I really struggled to photograph this event. Out of practice maybe? You cannot use flash in a gym, the lighting is typically even worse than in a school gym. Gymnasts move fast. Very fast. This was the first meet with all new routines so I wasn’t sure how to follow them. AND to complicate the process, for every event but the beam, I was shooting through the safety bars of the balcony. I did manage to get a few decent shots of each event.

Special thanks to my two photographer friends for responding to my panicked texts about how to try to take the shots from that meet. (and understanding that sometimes my panic is born of my disease and my over active nervous system making me forget every thing I already know!) You guys are life savers to me. Truly.

Anyway, for those of you who don’t have amazingly talented people who fly through the air with the greatest of ease, allow me to share mine! The girls of FGI. It’s a pretty short season – States is March 16- and our gym only competes about 5 meets- so enjoy these girls with me. They really are something special.

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The Sort of Hope Who Played on the Tracks

teryn7

I finally got to do something nice for a young lady who is part of a family who has been so very nice to me over the years. Taught myself 2 new editing techniques, too!  ( … if only I could get paid to do nothing but take pictures and edit *sighs dreamily*) Cold weather is challenging for healthy people. Cold weather can be all but deadly for some people with RSD/CRPS. (our nervous systems don’t adjust well to temperature changes, so once we start to shiver, or get cold, it is sometimes near to impossible to get our body’s core temperature back again. ) But Teryn was tough, so I had to be too. She’s a seasoned competitive athlete-a real gamer. I figured if she could stand up on the top of a train in what she was wearing, I could be brave and all bundled up down below. ( and believe me, I *was* as bundled as movement would allow for.)

Beautiful girl and a fun day.

Some days it really is good to be me.

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365 Challenge: #_Optimistic

Told you all I wouldn’t make 365 consistent posts.

I was out after day 2. Thank you sickness. At least I know my limits 😉

But I am trying to play catch up and now I’m just kind of lost.

Hollywood

This is my older sister Holly. I knew I wanted to use her for “Optimistic” but I couldn’t remember what day # optimistic  was. I still don’t know?

( Lost a few memory chips in my sickness haze…. )

My sister Holly and I are only 16 months apart and were raised almost more like twins than sisters as I was always a bit taller and she was always a tad smaller. She barely reaches 5 foot now. (unless you count her hair.) Mom liked to dress us alike, give us identical outfits ( just different colors). We always shared a room. Shared friends. Sometimes could share clothes, but not shoes Holly is very tiny. And contrary to many men’s wishes, never boyfriends- we have very different tastes.

Anyway, Holly has always been that certain light in my life that everyone needs. Everyone looks for. Fittingly, Holly loves all things sparkly and glittery, just like her- things of light. We could not be more different in that way. Or in the way that we dress. However, many times I wish I could be more like her, more expressive, more free, more ‘perky’. I tend to be a bit too conservative.

Holly spends her days making other people feel good about themselves, making them beautiful, too! And if that isn’t “Optimistic” , I don’t know what is.

The Sort of Hope Who Lived in 2012

Bye Bye 2012

My how times have changed. Mike and I are enjoying a fabulous stir fry that I’ve prepared at home, our very quiet home and now the children are the ones who are out, and we are the ones staying in,  owed in part to this cold I can’t seem to shake. But it’s no big deal, I never cared much for New Year’s Eve anyway. I feel like it’s rookie night. All the prices go up, and the people who never party go out. Not for me, thanks. Give me my pj’s and the quiet. I don’t need the noise and the crowds.

I’ll stay home and watch the recaps. Read about words we don’t want to make it to 2013.. like Yolo (eew) or fiscal cliff. I’ll lament the passing of my treasured light bulbs. I’ll thank the Myans for being wrong. I’ll say a little prayer for all of the innocent children of Sandy Hook and the other victims of terrible, senseless crimes this year ( like Mike’s young cousin Timmy, a murder victim back in Feb of 2012). I’ll continue to think about the people still rebuilding from Super Storm Sandy.

And I’ll praise women like Jennifer Livingston the news anchor who stood up to the bully who called her fat.  ( I blogged about that before here: read on for more..) I’ll be thankful that her words went viral in a matter of hours. I’ll be hopeful that perhaps just one girl will listen. Hopeful that perhaps just one self image of a fragile teen age girl will be saved. Hopeful that maybe 2013 will be the year we can knock social media bullying down a few pegs.

Hope

thank you Kevin Brett of Soul Imagery for allowing me to edit this.

And then, because a woman who has walked a mile in my shoes has finally convinced me to stop looking at all things I can’t do and instead celebrate the things I’ve done, I’ll look at what I’ve managed to be a part of in this past year.

2012.. my highlights.

I was somehow able to keep up with my tumble off champ, my All Berks/ All State Player, my Level 7 USA Gymnast who medaled many times, my HS cheerleader/2 time tumble off champ, another NHS member, My Summer Love- (Schuylkill Berks Legion League Berks Co Div Champs )~oh what a season~! , a 2 x Tourny Winning 18Y Berkshire Showcase Team, a permitted driver to a licensed driver. Natalia turned 14 Nick turned 16. Seems impossible. What am I forgetting?

On my birthday I said good bye to the family Jeepster. Jeepster had been a part of our family for nearly a decade. I have yet to replace it.

In 2012 I personally loved a few and lost a few – {my ball buddy ~ “you know what I mean?” },  flew to South Dakota for my first vacation in years, spent 7 whole days with the James Gang & saw my brother get married. Was able to once again participate in Cups of Compassion and feel what it really means to give of one’s self.

Sadly, I’m still learning that no matter what you think, no one or anything is ever truly as it seems and that people can still manage to surprise you even after 40.

I’m thankful for the chances I was given to share my talents this year. I’m so grateful for those who shared theirs with me.

This year I survived another 7 day inpatient coma and 5 outpatient treatments to help control and slow the progression of my 12 year battle with fully body/ internal RSD.

Oh and I started “allsortsofhope.com”.

As far as this life I lead, well, I owe so much of it to you, my friends who helped to keep me in this game called life yet again.

I am grateful for my new audience and as always, treasure my old one.

13 is my lucky number. I have a feeling 2013 is going to be a great year.

Stick around, won’t you?

newyearsresolution

The Rudolph Sort of Hope

ihaveacoldMy least favorite Christmas gift this year… a cold.

Can’t return it. Can’t exchange it. Can’t re-gift if. ( wouldn’t if I could.) Can’t seem to shake it, either.

When you have a chronic condition like I do, simple little things like the common cold are anything but simple. Plus, we RSD’ers seem to do everything on a grand scale.  With immune systems that are already functioning out of whack , fighting a common cold can really tax our bodies. Sometimes that taxing causes our disease to “flare up” = not so much fun.

Who knows, maybe they’ll let *me* join in some reindeer games !?

( if I’m up to it. )

 

 

The Ever Evolving Sort of Hope

“Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.”
― William Arthur Ward

imagine my surprise!

Imagine my surprise when I finally had a moment to log on to my treasured blog and discover that I’ve not only reached 100 followers but have also been given the gift of 2 very lovely blog awards by 2 wonderful fellow bloggers!!!

 

The Leibster Award  from Anita’s Blog ~ Noted In Nashville –

Anita shares her music and makes me hungry when she shares her favorite foods. She is a singer and songwriter and also loves food ( did I mention that food part? 😀 )

and from another woman I read every chance I get,~ RARASAUR  came the ” Very Inspiring Blogger Award”  which she gave me for ” inspiring and encouraging the unexpected”  ( Which made me cry). This woman oozes writing talent and humor. I am honored beyond words. She is who I aspire my writing to be when my writing grows up.

When I get a whole uninterrupted minute and finish my chores, I plan on responding properly to these wonderful nominations. Thank you ladies for making this small town girl feel pretty darn big.

I only started blogging to hopefully raise some awareness about this thing called RSD. To maybe ease some of the pain of this dreadful disease and also to not feel quite as isolated. Getting 100 followers was something I never really thought about. I didn’t know if people would “get me” or understand my peculiar sense of humor. I didn’t think people would like to look at “one more photo that Hope posted”.  But you’ve all proved me wrong.

Who knows, maybe you don’t look at all the pics.. wait, we’ve had this conversation, haven’t we?~ “the sort of hope who knows you’re visual”

Anyway, I thank you for stopping by, for whatever reason.

And I thank you for continuing to inspire ME to go on.

“Unexpected” ~ that’s one word that has never been used when describing me before.

Guess that’s the ever evolving part. 😀

allsortsofhope.com~ the musing of a frustrated, modern day, red headed housewife , ever evolving mamarazzi of two teen athletes.

 

 

The Jolly Sort of Hope pt 1.

Ever since I started dating my husband, the last Sunday before Christmas was always one of my favorite days. His mom and step father host a party that is filled with family and food and children. Santa even comes to personally give all the little children their “early drop-offs.” Everyone gets a chance to sit on Santa’s lap and tell him what they wish for and/or have their photo taken. For as long as I have been married ( 16years) there has never ever been a shortage of small children in this family. They are the joy of Christmas for me. How wonderful it must feel to be able to host such an event! Sadly this year, for the first time in my life with my husband, I couldn’t even make it to the end of the night. Thank you RSD.

Normally we arrive way before everyone else and stay way past everyone else. It’s time we don’t often get to spend with some of the people at the party. Plus I always felt like I needed to help my MIL as much as I or my family could that day. It’s a huge undertaking for one person. But I’m sure worth every moment once you see the smiles on the children’s faces as they see Santa come down the stairs. Last year I positioned myself perfectly to take pictures of just that. The little children as Santa arrived. Sheer Christmas magic!!

This year I photographed the event with my broken 18-105mm lens. The focus doesn’t always focus and the zoom doesn’t always zoom.  Challenging at best. Like many of my mentors, I don’t shoot with flash. Indoor lighting and I are not the best of friends. That being said, I’m not too terribly disappointed with the results. It can sometimes be like a mini press conference when the children hop on Santa’s lap. But I did get most of the kids as they sat on the guy in the red suit’s lap. Some didn’t stay long enough for my fickle lens. Some did. Some families looked at other people who said “say Cheese” and  sadly you can’t go back and get a do-over.

So as my BFF has been heard to say to her 2 boys ” you get what you get and you don’t get upset.” ~ In any event, I hope no one get’s upset. My in law’s Christmas party never fails to help make me jolly. Holidays are about families and love.

Merry (after) Christmas!