365 Challenge #15 Confusing

I promised myself that this year I would try to learn as many new things as I could.

To push my brain to it’s limits.

RSD patients can be found to have  damage to the same parts of their brains as stroke victims or Alzheimer patients. Part of my testing for my ketamine infusions made me all to aware of just how far my condition has messed with my brain. Part of the very reason that we have RSD at all is because the wiring in our brains has some how gotten all messed up and the pain signals have become confused somewhere along the way. Thereby making the simplest little tasks sometimes very challenging.

This little project took me almost 3 hours. Interrupted by making dinner, but three hours nonetheless. I was so confused while I was trying to do it. But I did it. And my brain held up. Now I’m just exhausted. It’s not perfect nor exactly how I really wanted it, which was the hardest part for me- allowing myself to say something was finished before I considered it “perfect.”  Nonetheless, I was so proud of myself when I finished it. Though it was very difficult for me to complete this task, very confusing, I did it!  Just don’t ask me to do it again 😉

 

– PS- I should get “bonus points” – because this photo is of my teenage daughter and though she is beautiful and I love her, teenage girls are nothing if not confusing!!

 

Day #15 Confusing

Confusing

The Sort of Hope Who Played on the Tracks

teryn7

I finally got to do something nice for a young lady who is part of a family who has been so very nice to me over the years. Taught myself 2 new editing techniques, too!  ( … if only I could get paid to do nothing but take pictures and edit *sighs dreamily*) Cold weather is challenging for healthy people. Cold weather can be all but deadly for some people with RSD/CRPS. (our nervous systems don’t adjust well to temperature changes, so once we start to shiver, or get cold, it is sometimes near to impossible to get our body’s core temperature back again. ) But Teryn was tough, so I had to be too. She’s a seasoned competitive athlete-a real gamer. I figured if she could stand up on the top of a train in what she was wearing, I could be brave and all bundled up down below. ( and believe me, I *was* as bundled as movement would allow for.)

Beautiful girl and a fun day.

Some days it really is good to be me.

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The Sort of Hope Who Has Time

Hooray for 2013.

I’m beyond excited. I was invited to join a tiny little group of very talented female photographers called “365 days of learning and growing .”  It was started by a woman whom I both admire and respect.

I can’t wait to learn and grow with them. I tend to be an over- editor so I know that over -editing will be an all to familiar critique for me by the end of the year. But what a great journey. What a neat way to ‘perfect one’s craft!’.

Right from the start I know that I will never make it to actually posting a photo a day, my process is too cumbersome and my health isn’t always cooperative,  but I am certainly going to try. Maybe a 7 photos a week?

Today our photo was “Resolutions”. I took the literal/New Year’s  way out.  Not the photographic Resolution interpretation.

I can’t remember ever making a resolution but I figure now’s as good a time as any to start…

and speaking of TIME…

My resolution.

TIME. ~to appreciate it more, to forget it about it more often, to use it more wisely, to remember to cherish every moment of it that I have been given and to be thankful for it. To enjoy the TIME I get to spend doing what I enjoy, to not complain when it’s TIME I have to spend doing things I don’t love.  TIME to spend doing things for others and to remember to spend TIME  doing things for myself. TIME to cherish the TIME I have left.

TIME to stop worrying and TIME to just let life happen.

TIME to forgive. TIME to forget.

TIME to live. TIME to love.

TIME to hope.

TIME to stop watching the clock.

TIME

3…2….1…

My Philadelphia Freedom is all but mine!

Treatment day is almost here.

Had a terrific day today, all because I am forgetful old lady ;}

Went out for dinner with my girlfriend last night and left my glasses in the restaurant. This is the 2nd time that I have done this now. She told me she is going to get me the ‘chain’ for around my neck to hang my glasses from like the older ladies wear. I’m really *not* that bad, am I? I fear the answer.

Picked up my son and daughter and her BFF to go retrieve said glasses which happened to be at a shopping center also. Provided some entertainment. Nick tried on mens running pants which make a suitable double for “yoga pants for men.” Nick is blessed with a big booty. He is proud of it, as well he should be. Hours of endless pitching went into that thing.

Had a blast with the kids.

 

Today was also the first day of hunting season in our county, which is why the kids were still off of school. Not sure hunting of what ( I don’t hunt) but looks like these turkeys weren’t taking any chances, caught them running across the road today headed into a nearby field. Or maybe they were just grateful to be around for one more year.

Realized I have been spending far too much time alone and sitting. Needed to shake things up a bit, so when we got home and the girls wanted to play photo shoot,  I knew I couldn’t say no. Though it was far too tempting to do just that and crawl into my chair. I figured it would be at least 2 weeks until I could play again , so off we went to find a spot. Should preface this by saying it is about 30 degrees tops here. The body really want to sit at home, but the brain knows I need to be moving. So move I did.

Natalia was wearing a gown that I wore to 2 proms in 1985 and later lent to my high school best friend to wear to her junior prom in 1986. She isn’t with us any more so the dress means even more to me now.  It was really special for me to see my daughter wear it. I hope Beth would be proud of the work we did today. I still miss her every day.

 

We were out around the golden hour- magic lighting. It truly was magic. Sadly, upon review, Miss Natalia was not pleased with herself today, but I was. I feel like the love that these two best friends share for each other is so apparent in their photos. Reminds me of the friendship I had with Beth so very many years ago.

If you are lucky enough to have a best friend that you love too, do me a favor and tell them- today.. because you just never know.

Was hoping to have the pics from the photos that I did ‘on the other side of the lens’ to share before I left for my treatment but, sadly, I don’t have them just yet. Should give me something to look forward to when I get back, though!

In the meantime…. as I have come to say~

” I’ll catch you on the flip side of the K” my new Blog Buds.

*\O/* if you are the praying sort, please throw one up for me, if not, your good thoughts are appreciated as well.

Thursday, 7am.

HERE I COME MY PHILLY FREEDOM.

 

 

The ‘Once Bitten’ Sort of Hope

“Take me from this earth
an endless night-
this, the end of life.
From the dark I feel your lips
and taste your bloody kiss.”
― Anne Rice

 

~ for those who asked, I love to edit. Almost more than I love to take pictures! (almost)

~ last year’s Halloween Edit ( and a bunch of other self portraits/ edits)  can be found : http://allsortsofhope.com/2012/09/03/mood-of-the-moment/