365 Challenge – Day Feb #3- Bedside

Feb 3- BEDSIDE

Confession:  I cheated on this one. I knew that I had already taken a photo (with my Droid) that means more to me than any new one I could possibly take. It is one I had taken last year for no particular reason on January 12, 2012 .  This is the lamp next to my bed.  It is “adorned”, if you will, with all of these necklaces, which were all given to me by one friend or another at some time during my 12 year RSD journey. They all mean something to me and they are usually the last thing I see before turning out my light at night and the first thing I see when I open my eyes in the morning. Each are a symbol to me that I do not fight this battle alone. They give me strength, and they encourage me. Though I know they would be better preserved tucked away in my jewelry box, I will always leave these particular necklaces hang on my lamp, by my BEDSIDE, so that I know that no matter how hard it gets, I am never alone!

Day Feb #3- BEDSIDE.

The Sort of Hope Who $u<k$ Less At Basketball (than I did just a few months ago! :)

Nothing will work unless you do.

 John Wooden

And working I have been! (at my photography, any way.)

I didn’t want my poor neglected blog ‘s friends to think that I’ve just been sitting around eating bon bon’s waiting to not fulfill my commitment to the pictures for the 365 Challenge. Au Contraire!

I’ve been quite the busy little sick gal. I’ve been working so diligently at trying to get better at my basketball shots. Photos that is. A Michael Jordan I will never be. Just as I’ve been working hard, so have our basketball teams. Our boys and girls have both made County play offs – So proud of them!

Which means that I will even get the opportunity for extended practice this season. I didn’t want to bore you all with shots every time I took some , but here are a few that I just decided were post -worthy.

If I were a bit more clever, and had a bit more time, and hand strength left, I’d set it to some really balling music and video up for your viewing pleasure. But I’m not feeling very clever, I don’t have the time and my hands are a lost cause this close to treatment.

Hope you enjoy viewing them as much as I have enjoyed taking them nonetheless!

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365 Challenge – #6 Feb ~Saved (Up)

My poor little neglected blog. How I’ve missed you!

My apologies… I started a corresponding facebook page! ~ https://www.facebook.com/Allsortsofhopecom?ref=hl

My new FB page!~ Go ahead, check it out.

Then I went  to about five trillion basketball games, a few gymnastic competitions and tried to recover from all that stuff. Having some trouble with my hands, too. Trying to keep the keyboarding/ processing to a minimum.

SAVED (UP).

In this photo, I am wearing pants that I , Hope the clothing hoarder, had SAVED from, no kidding, the early 90’s. I had also taken this photo using a Minolta lens with a Nikon adapter that a friend had recently given me that he had SAVED from years gone by.  In addition, the lovely silver necklace that I wear proudly around my neck  has a silver ribbon with the word HOPE engraved on it. It was a gift from a woman who had SAVED it for a while til she remembered to give it to me.  I waited quite a few hours to get my knuckles un-swollen enough to be able to type even just this pathetic little paragraph. So in essence you could say that  all these things had been SAVED UP for- just to make this photo.   (kinda? sort of?) .

It’s a stretch at best. But right now, I’m saving up for so many things the best thing I could think of  for “Saved up ” was my actually my new ( old) car that I finally went out and purchased after months and months of not having. However, when it came time for my car to make it’s photographic debut, it wasn’t home because my son is now driving it as his was just hit while being parked outside of our home. You see, that’s how we seem to be doing things in this house lately. One step forward, two steps back. It’s a good thing that I saved up for it, though, or we wouldn’t have anything to drive.

I’m also trying to save up every last bit of energy and strength I have. My vision is starting to play tricks on me too. I’m getting anxious. I’ve got a treatment in just 21 days! And that’s the big winner for SAVED UP, I suppose…. the strength and energy it took me just to do this whole thing. I pray no one ever truly understands what I mean by that.  Sadly, I know that there are far too many of you who do.

Day #6 of Feb- Saved Up

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365 Challenge- Day #31 Grow

Day #31- Grow

“The Beauty of a Diamond~ through the eyes of a coach”  written by Dan Clouser

Dan is a friend of mine. A boss of mine. A mentor of sorts. He also employs my son. My son, Nick plays baseball for Dan for several years as well.

This book is a story about Dan, and how baseball has affected him personally and professionally. The life lessons it has taught him along the way. It is an easy, gentle read yet it’s message is heard loud and clear.

It was interesting to read it and shows how Dan grew from a naughty little teen aged boy into the quiet , unassuming man that I know him to be today. Dan is one of the most generous men that I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. He owns Berkshire Baseball. Berkshire Baseball “raises” young men and teaches them that life isn’t all about baseball. It teaches about character, too. Life lessons.

The past few weeks have been trying at best in this household. Our community lost a young man who decided he was left with no other recourse than to take his own life. To say it has not affected my own family would be a gross understatement. The weather here has given us a few minor inconveniences as well.

My son, Nick has never ever given us trouble. We have rarely had to discipline him.We have been so fortunate. But these past two weeks we have had our hands full. He has had some “growing pains.”He has not been thinking straight.  He has made some simple bad choices. He is a boy of great character and strength and I try to remember that once upon a time many a man, like Dan,  had been lost and found their way, too.  I know that he will get back on track. Boys do that. I read Dan’s book and several others like his when I need that reassurance.

I’ve never been a teen age boy ( haha) but I know that they grow and change and push a whole lot differently than girls do. The good news is that they do change, and carry on, and learn, and GROW.

Day #31. GROW.

 

 

 

365 Challenge – A few days…

Life is flying by me.

Which is good and bad I suppose.

We are painting Natalia’s room. She had gotten a gift certificate from my sister for an occasion that I can’t even remember- a birthday? Christmas? and she chose the color last summer. It’s been sitting in our garage ever since. Finding free time to paint has been quite an issue. This gal’s schedule must rival the President’s. School til 230. Then Cheer for 2 hours then home just to eat then gymnastic’s for 2 more hours. That’s only if there isn’t a basketball game.

Having Nick help to drive has been an asset but baseball practice started for him which also pulls him and his father away which goes back to it just being me again.

I don’t know how these kids keep up.

I honestly wonder how I do it sometimes, too.  Lately more so than ever.

I am the only person in the house who is doing laundry, cleaning , cooking , running the errands and finishing the paint right now. I know I’m not telling the women of the world ( and some men) things that they don’t already know. I just needed a place to vent. Our dishwasher is broken (in addition to the stove, and the microwave, and the fan above the stove.. and the… ) and my husband is in no hurry to fix it. I therefore believe that he should be the one to do the dishes.. Makes sense, right? Somehow it’s not working out that way. And he certainly doesn’t have a disease that affects his hands quite like mine does. The kids were home for one day and I asked Nick to do the dishes while Natalia and I painted. That went over well. I told Nick that maybe his father is just confused about what decade it is because I wear aprons in the kitchen,that maybe he thinks dishwashers just haven’t been invented yet… ?!?  I think I may have to stop wearing aprons for a while. See if it changes things. I’m open to suggestions.

Anyway… I am still trying to stay on top of my photo group challenges. But I’m failing miserably.

Here are day #27 – outside

and Day #28 -inside.

Sunday – #27 Outside– we had a snow day. I took a break from painting and looked out of our window and saw those footprints. I was so confused. Which way was this person going and exactly *how*were they walking? what happened to the rest of  their footprints?

Of course I had to take pictures while we were painting..

So , Day #28- Inside-

You’ll notice we painted “inside” Natalia’s room. You also may notice up in the corner that some of us had a bit of difficulty painting inside the lines. And that’s OK. “it gives it character” … Right gals? 😉

When people ask me what color Natalia chose to paint her room the best descriptive I can use is ” Tiffany box blue” . I find that almost 90 % of women can recall what I mean immediately. Tiffany box blue is an iconic color. It’s more than just a color .. it’s a dream for many a little girl, too. My daughter picked that color along with black trim and some black and white carpet/ curtains and has unknowingly made herself her own little Tiffany box!

Two wonderful women in my life sent me a gift from Tiffany’s as a special , *very* special gift when I first started treatment. It was a horseshoe necklace.. to “let the luck fall in”…. (you may have seen this photo before – as self portrait I did as a tribute to those 2 amazing women.2 special gals who helped me get through those first 10 days of treatment.)

Getting that beloved blue box in the mail was such an incredible experience for me. I hope someday to be able to do that for others, for my daughter, too. But for now, this was as close as I could get…

I know it won’t mean nearly the same thing to her, but I sure loved seeing the smiles on her face the painting days! And as fast as the days are going right now, I’ll treasure each and every one of them while I can.

 

 

365 Challenge #15 Confusing

I promised myself that this year I would try to learn as many new things as I could.

To push my brain to it’s limits.

RSD patients can be found to have  damage to the same parts of their brains as stroke victims or Alzheimer patients. Part of my testing for my ketamine infusions made me all to aware of just how far my condition has messed with my brain. Part of the very reason that we have RSD at all is because the wiring in our brains has some how gotten all messed up and the pain signals have become confused somewhere along the way. Thereby making the simplest little tasks sometimes very challenging.

This little project took me almost 3 hours. Interrupted by making dinner, but three hours nonetheless. I was so confused while I was trying to do it. But I did it. And my brain held up. Now I’m just exhausted. It’s not perfect nor exactly how I really wanted it, which was the hardest part for me- allowing myself to say something was finished before I considered it “perfect.”  Nonetheless, I was so proud of myself when I finished it. Though it was very difficult for me to complete this task, very confusing, I did it!  Just don’t ask me to do it again 😉

 

– PS- I should get “bonus points” – because this photo is of my teenage daughter and though she is beautiful and I love her, teenage girls are nothing if not confusing!!

 

Day #15 Confusing

The Sort of Hope Who Played on the Tracks

I finally got to do something nice for a young lady who is part of a family who has been so very nice to me over the years. Taught myself 2 new editing techniques, too!  ( … if only I could get paid to do nothing but take pictures and edit *sighs dreamily*) Cold weather is challenging for healthy people. Cold weather can be all but deadly for some people with RSD/CRPS. (our nervous systems don’t adjust well to temperature changes, so once we start to shiver, or get cold, it is sometimes near to impossible to get our body’s core temperature back again. ) But Teryn was tough, so I had to be too. She’s a seasoned competitive athlete-a real gamer. I figured if she could stand up on the top of a train in what she was wearing, I could be brave and all bundled up down below. ( and believe me, I *was* as bundled as movement would allow for.)

Beautiful girl and a fun day.

Some days it really is good to be me.

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The Sort of Hope Who Lived in 2012

My how times have changed. Mike and I are enjoying a fabulous stir fry that I’ve prepared at home, our very quiet home and now the children are the ones who are out, and we are the ones staying in,  owed in part to this cold I can’t seem to shake. But it’s no big deal, I never cared much for New Year’s Eve anyway. I feel like it’s rookie night. All the prices go up, and the people who never party go out. Not for me, thanks. Give me my pj’s and the quiet. I don’t need the noise and the crowds.

I’ll stay home and watch the recaps. Read about words we don’t want to make it to 2013.. like Yolo (eew) or fiscal cliff. I’ll lament the passing of my treasured light bulbs. I’ll thank the Myans for being wrong. I’ll say a little prayer for all of the innocent children of Sandy Hook and the other victims of terrible, senseless crimes this year ( like Mike’s young cousin Timmy, a murder victim back in Feb of 2012). I’ll continue to think about the people still rebuilding from Super Storm Sandy.

And I’ll praise women like Jennifer Livingston the news anchor who stood up to the bully who called her fat.  ( I blogged about that before here: read on for more..) I’ll be thankful that her words went viral in a matter of hours. I’ll be hopeful that perhaps just one girl will listen. Hopeful that perhaps just one self image of a fragile teen age girl will be saved. Hopeful that maybe 2013 will be the year we can knock social media bullying down a few pegs.

thank you Kevin Brett of Soul Imagery for allowing me to edit this.

And then, because a woman who has walked a mile in my shoes has finally convinced me to stop looking at all things I can’t do and instead celebrate the things I’ve done, I’ll look at what I’ve managed to be a part of in this past year.

2012.. my highlights.

I was somehow able to keep up with my tumble off champ, my All Berks/ All State Player, my Level 7 USA Gymnast who medaled many times, my HS cheerleader/2 time tumble off champ, another NHS member, My Summer Love- (Schuylkill Berks Legion League Berks Co Div Champs )~oh what a season~! , a 2 x Tourny Winning 18Y Berkshire Showcase Team, a permitted driver to a licensed driver. Natalia turned 14 Nick turned 16. Seems impossible. What am I forgetting?

On my birthday I said good bye to the family Jeepster. Jeepster had been a part of our family for nearly a decade. I have yet to replace it.

In 2012 I personally loved a few and lost a few – {my ball buddy ~ “you know what I mean?” },  flew to South Dakota for my first vacation in years, spent 7 whole days with the James Gang & saw my brother get married. Was able to once again participate in Cups of Compassion and feel what it really means to give of one’s self.

Sadly, I’m still learning that no matter what you think, no one or anything is ever truly as it seems and that people can still manage to surprise you even after 40.

I’m thankful for the chances I was given to share my talents this year. I’m so grateful for those who shared theirs with me.

This year I survived another 7 day inpatient coma and 5 outpatient treatments to help control and slow the progression of my 12 year battle with fully body/ internal RSD.

Oh and I started “allsortsofhope.com”.

As far as this life I lead, well, I owe so much of it to you, my friends who helped to keep me in this game called life yet again.

I am grateful for my new audience and as always, treasure my old one.

13 is my lucky number. I have a feeling 2013 is going to be a great year.

Stick around, won’t you?

The Rudolph Sort of Hope

My least favorite Christmas gift this year… a cold.

Can’t return it. Can’t exchange it. Can’t re-gift if. ( wouldn’t if I could.) Can’t seem to shake it, either.

When you have a chronic condition like I do, simple little things like the common cold are anything but simple. Plus, we RSD’ers seem to do everything on a grand scale.  With immune systems that are already functioning out of whack , fighting a common cold can really tax our bodies. Sometimes that taxing causes our disease to “flare up” = not so much fun.

Who knows, maybe they’ll let *me* join in some reindeer games !?

( if I’m up to it. )

 

 

The Sort of Hope Who Has A Snow Angel

“When it snows, you have two choices, shovel or make snow angels” ~ unknown.

look which we picked!

 

My own Snow Angel

..in a flurry…