365 Challenge – Day Feb #3- Bedside

Feb 3- BEDSIDE

Confession:  I cheated on this one. I knew that I had already taken a photo (with my Droid) that means more to me than any new one I could possibly take. It is one I had taken last year for no particular reason on January 12, 2012 .  This is the lamp next to my bed.  It is “adorned”, if you will, with all of these necklaces, which were all given to me by one friend or another at some time during my 12 year RSD journey. They all mean something to me and they are usually the last thing I see before turning out my light at night and the first thing I see when I open my eyes in the morning. Each are a symbol to me that I do not fight this battle alone. They give me strength, and they encourage me. Though I know they would be better preserved tucked away in my jewelry box, I will always leave these particular necklaces hang on my lamp, by my BEDSIDE, so that I know that no matter how hard it gets, I am never alone!

Day Feb #3- BEDSIDE.

bedside

The Sort of Hope Who Has Time

Hooray for 2013.

I’m beyond excited. I was invited to join a tiny little group of very talented female photographers called “365 days of learning and growing .”  It was started by a woman whom I both admire and respect.

I can’t wait to learn and grow with them. I tend to be an over- editor so I know that over -editing will be an all to familiar critique for me by the end of the year. But what a great journey. What a neat way to ‘perfect one’s craft!’.

Right from the start I know that I will never make it to actually posting a photo a day, my process is too cumbersome and my health isn’t always cooperative,  but I am certainly going to try. Maybe a 7 photos a week?

Today our photo was “Resolutions”. I took the literal/New Year’s  way out.  Not the photographic Resolution interpretation.

I can’t remember ever making a resolution but I figure now’s as good a time as any to start…

and speaking of TIME…

My resolution.

TIME. ~to appreciate it more, to forget it about it more often, to use it more wisely, to remember to cherish every moment of it that I have been given and to be thankful for it. To enjoy the TIME I get to spend doing what I enjoy, to not complain when it’s TIME I have to spend doing things I don’t love.  TIME to spend doing things for others and to remember to spend TIME  doing things for myself. TIME to cherish the TIME I have left.

TIME to stop worrying and TIME to just let life happen.

TIME to forgive. TIME to forget.

TIME to live. TIME to love.

TIME to hope.

TIME to stop watching the clock.

TIME

The Sort of Hope Who Should

I should be shopping. I should be wrapping. I should be writing Thank You notes. I should be talking to my brother. I should be petting my dog. I should brush the cat. I should strip the beds. ( oh their embarrassment!) I should dust. I should be scrubbing the shower. I should phone a friend. I should take out the trash. I should sort the mail. I should be baking Christmas Cookies. I should be editing photos. I should be putting laundry away. I should be *doing* laundry. 

I should not be writing a blog. 

I should figure out why this is typing in blue….  stockingswerehungIf memory serves, my younger sister Rachel emailed that cartoon to me back before I even had a fb acct. ( now that’s a long time ago.) It  just never gets old for me. Must be the balls 😉

Though my most recent photo session with Kevin of Soul Imagery looks more New Year’s Eve than Christmas, I still felt like sharing it with my favorite Christmas cartoon. I get so excited when I see his name on my messenger list. That part feels a bit like Christmas. I love to see the results of our work together.  Just got 2 more photos back from the day we spent at Adrienne’s Inn at Center Park. Still hoping to get to shoot there again~hopefully while I still have these long locks!

Hope” But if you’re thinking

about my baby,

it don’t matter

if you’re

black or white    ~ Black or White, Michael Jackson

Hope

I should go to bed. 😉

http://soulimagery.zenfolio.com/portraits/h4f081874#h4f081874

The Sort of Hope Who Helped Make Spirits Bright

Hello Blog world friends

I haven’t been able to blog much since the happenings in Newton CT last week. Haven’t been myself. Haven’t felt joy, or love, or even much  ‘hope’. Until just these past few days.

However, I’m beginning to feel  a tad bit better. I’ve witnessed at least 4 things that I’ve found noteworthy that have helped to change my opinion of our world. Things that I felt were worth sharing.

  • Unbeknownst to me, I had a high school classmate who teaches in that very school district. Her name is Bonny. After the tragedy, Bonny began something called “The Snowflake Project”. She posted on FB that she wanted all of her friends help in making snowflakes to hang in the hallways of the new school (which was an old, no longer used school) where all the children would now be attending.  Thanks to the power of social media, Bonny’s project took on a life of it’s own. Everyone shared her status, myself included. My friends who don’t even know Bonny went on to share and act on Bonny’s project! It went completely viral. We were even making snowflakes here in the elementary school in little Oley, PA.

That made me feel a little bit better. Gave me a little hope back.

  • I have a younger cousin who lives in all the way in CA. She had twins a couple of years ag0- one of each flavor.( I was so jealous! )She is also a lawyer who is married to a banker. Very successful. So proud of her.  She is my Godmother’s daughter. My Godmother was a wonderful woman who was taken from this Earth far before her time. She sent me an incredibly generous gift. A new lens. It’s a size that I had but it functions better than mine *and* it does Macro. It’s smarter than me right now, but have no fear, I’ll get there. When I sat down to edit some photos I took yesterday, I had to do little to no post processing. It was amazing- what a hand saver!! But what meant more to me than her benevolence, was the letter that she also sent to me. Her words. I actually contemplated sharing them, but just couldn’t. They are too personal for me. Too special. But I hope she knows how very much they will always mean to me.

More hope restored. People who do things for no reason.

  • Then for the second year in a row now, I was lucky enough to be involved in something called “The Cups of Compassion” in downtown Reading, PA.An event that feeds the needy, the homeless in our area.

Got involved with it last year through Nick’s baseball organization. Due to a rainy fall season, and one fall snow-out, we had a bunch of left over food that we decided needed to be donated somewhere. Long story short- we found the somewhere.

I submit to you the letter that the President of Berkshire Baseball wrote which summed up yesterday so beautifully I couldn’t even begin to write another myself:

So today was my Christmas Day, my wife sometimes tells me that I am a scrooge, but that really isn’t a true statement. I really do love Christmas, I just hate the commercialization of Christmas that we experience in 2012 and really for most of my lifetime. Christmas isn’t about trees and lights and presents and gift cards and crazy crowds at the mall fighting over the latest video game or camping out to buy a $180 pair of sneakers.Christmas is about peace, love and joy. Christmas is about true giving. Not the giving of material things, but the giving of real things. Giving a hug. Giving a smile. Giving your time. Giving a meal. Giving to those in need. Giving because you as the “giver” receives as much joy from seeing the true joy that your gift brought to someone else. Whether that someone is a friend or stranger, you can touch someone’s life without running up your credit card debt.Today I was honored to be part of a community that has been labeled as the “poorest in the U.S.” and if a stranger stopped at 5th & Penn today, they would have sworn that we were the richest city in the union. There was no wrapping paper, no gift receipts, no disappointment in what we received. There was no pushing in line, there was no complaining.What there was, was love, joy, peace and giving. There were hugs, there were smiles, there was spirit. There was patience and understanding. There were burgers and dogs and soups and fresh fruit and cookies and coffee and hot cocoa and blankets and hats and even ice cream. There was black and there was white and there was music and it all blended together to make a perfect harmony and a beautiful sound.For about four hours today in this great city, we were all one. The size of our bank account didn’t matter, what we drove didn’t matter, the size of our house didn’t matter, the color of our skin didn’t matter.The only thing that mattered was that we were all there, together. Helping each other with what we had to share. Some gave time, some gave food, some gave money, some gave talents and all gave smiles.For two years in a row now, the true spirit of Christmas came to this city. For two years in a row, I have been able to celebrate my style of Christmas.I am humbled and grateful to be a small part of a great event with such wonderful and caring people.I showed up this morning to give what I could and again walked away this afternoon feeling as though I had received.Thank you to everyone who helped again to make “Cups of Compassion” reflect the true spirit of this city and this season. ~ Dan Clouser, President Berkshire Baseball

I am so lucky to be a part of an organization like Berkshire Baseball that fosters an environment of  compassion and community spirit. More hope restored. People who do things just because.

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And finally,

  • Today at work, an elderly lady was telling me when she checked out that she couldn’t keep her next few appts to get her hair shampooed and set because she was behind in her doctor bills. She went on to explain that her insurance didn’t cover regular doctor visits and it cost her $200 every time she got checked. She wanted to make her appointments just for a set ( which is cheaper). We talked for a while longer. I listened and I als0 told her I understood completely because of my condition and the treatments I am currently undergoing. When she left, I shared her story with my boss. Without hesitation my boss said we were going to make her regular appointments happen for her even though she can’t afford them. In fact, she said, we were going to take it one step further and send her a Christmas Card informing her that she had won our drawing for 6 months of free shampoos and sets!

We are just a small salon. Things like that can’t be easy for my boss to decide to do. But she does. All the time. Without hesitation. And she never turns anyone away it seems. I am so lucky to be a part of that environment. More hope restored. People who do things just because. Difference makers.

~”why can’t every day be like Christmas?”

my apologies.. I’m getting past my limit physically right now and sometimes my mind struggles with coherent thoughts when my physical self reaches it’s max. It’s a constant battle between what I want to do and what I can do. 😦

http://readingeagle.com/article.aspx?id=438336

Too Much W(h)ine

Hope the lush

“Too much w(h)ine”.

or feel free to make up your own clever title. I’m at a loss.

Got my first photo back  from my recent shoot with Kevin Brett at Soul Imagery

http://soulimagery.zenfolio.com/portraits/h31300e3e#h4f081874

I’m so lucky that I am a grown up who still gets to play dress up.

3…2….1…

My Philadelphia Freedom is all but mine!

Treatment day is almost here.

Had a terrific day today, all because I am forgetful old lady ;}

Went out for dinner with my girlfriend last night and left my glasses in the restaurant. This is the 2nd time that I have done this now. She told me she is going to get me the ‘chain’ for around my neck to hang my glasses from like the older ladies wear. I’m really *not* that bad, am I? I fear the answer.

Picked up my son and daughter and her BFF to go retrieve said glasses which happened to be at a shopping center also. Provided some entertainment. Nick tried on mens running pants which make a suitable double for “yoga pants for men.” Nick is blessed with a big booty. He is proud of it, as well he should be. Hours of endless pitching went into that thing.

Had a blast with the kids.

 

Today was also the first day of hunting season in our county, which is why the kids were still off of school. Not sure hunting of what ( I don’t hunt) but looks like these turkeys weren’t taking any chances, caught them running across the road today headed into a nearby field. Or maybe they were just grateful to be around for one more year.

Realized I have been spending far too much time alone and sitting. Needed to shake things up a bit, so when we got home and the girls wanted to play photo shoot,  I knew I couldn’t say no. Though it was far too tempting to do just that and crawl into my chair. I figured it would be at least 2 weeks until I could play again , so off we went to find a spot. Should preface this by saying it is about 30 degrees tops here. The body really want to sit at home, but the brain knows I need to be moving. So move I did.

Natalia was wearing a gown that I wore to 2 proms in 1985 and later lent to my high school best friend to wear to her junior prom in 1986. She isn’t with us any more so the dress means even more to me now.  It was really special for me to see my daughter wear it. I hope Beth would be proud of the work we did today. I still miss her every day.

 

We were out around the golden hour- magic lighting. It truly was magic. Sadly, upon review, Miss Natalia was not pleased with herself today, but I was. I feel like the love that these two best friends share for each other is so apparent in their photos. Reminds me of the friendship I had with Beth so very many years ago.

If you are lucky enough to have a best friend that you love too, do me a favor and tell them- today.. because you just never know.

Was hoping to have the pics from the photos that I did ‘on the other side of the lens’ to share before I left for my treatment but, sadly, I don’t have them just yet. Should give me something to look forward to when I get back, though!

In the meantime…. as I have come to say~

” I’ll catch you on the flip side of the K” my new Blog Buds.

*\O/* if you are the praying sort, please throw one up for me, if not, your good thoughts are appreciated as well.

Thursday, 7am.

HERE I COME MY PHILLY FREEDOM.

 

 

The Enough is Enough Sort of Hope PT2

“And the rain rain rain came down down down” ~ Winnie the Pooh

(That ‘s now two Winnie the Pooh references for me in 2 days. )

Day 2 Hurricane Sandy. I’m tired of hearing her name already.

Things that I can’t get out of my head when I hear the name Sandy-

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ZfmXzIbHI8 – the song from Grease that John Travola croons out in the Drive Inn.

( I know I should like “Good Sandy” better, but c’mon.. those pants!!)

and naturally,

Sandy hasn’t even really reached us yet. All schools remain closed. Many local roads either closed or unpassable. I am unable to access true storm data. Which you’d think would be available in this day and age. Can’t get rainfall totals or wind gust speeds. But I can tell you that it’s windy as heck and it really hasn’t stopped raining since this morning. It’s 7:00pm or 19:00 hours for you military folks or other daughters of Marines.

My facebook status this afternoon said ~that sad, sad moment when you open the door to leave your doggie out into the raging rain and swirling winds and she looks back at you with those big brown eyes and tilts her floppy eared head like ” are you freakin kidding me? ” My poor Sophie dog. She’s battling ear troubles too and in this wind I really wish I could find a doggie hat or something to send her out in. I suppose dogs don’t really like hats though, do they ?

My Sandy shots so far. Or, photos I should call ” pictures I could take without leaving the comfort of my home” .  I came back in as soon as the wind started to blow me away.

I’m so brave.

Pop Calls Them Pixies

“We’ll be Friends Forever, won’t we, Pooh?’ asked Piglet.
Even longer,’ Pooh answered.”
― A.A. MilneWinnie-the-Pooh

My daughter Natalia is quite an amazing young lady. Having been put on bed rest at 28 weeks into my pregnancy with her, she is not only one of my greatest challenges in this life, she has also been one of my greatest rewards. I like to tell people though, that even after being put on bed-rest at 28 weeks for premature labor, I ended up going past my due date with Natalia and had to be induced. That’s the thing about my daughter Natalia, she does everything her way. On her on time and at her own pace. And that became apparent at a very early age.  She is strong -willed, stubborn and determined.

She could walk early, talk early and ‘give direction’ ( read was quite bossy) at a very early age. One of our favorite memories of Natalia was when she lifted her beautiful little red head and blurted out in a crowded store for all to hear (at the toddling age of 3 )  ” Mommy, Nicky is antagonizing me!”

We simply had to find a way to channel all of her energy. I was injured when Natalia was only 2. Dealing with 2 toddlers while on crutches full time is difficult. So we needed to find something to do with them to help get their energy out. By the time Natalia turned 3 we had enrolled her into dance classes. By the time Natalia turned 4 her instructor had informed me that a ballerina she would never be. Fortunately for me, their was a mom in our class of a very talented gymnast in the area who recognized what Natalia just *may* be.

By the age of 5 we had enrolled her in tumbling classes. It didn’t take her long to get her first solo. She immediately began to excel.

By the age of 6 her Pop-Pop offered to enroll her in a local gym to try out some of the equipment “just for the summer”, as a birthday present. That  was June. When August rolled around, she was offered a chance to begin training on their “team training program” that they called “The Sparklers” at that time.  It was then that she met her best friend Brianna.

Fast forward 8 years. Brianna and Natalia have grown up together. Theirs is a friendship of mutual respect. I have watched them evolve as gymnasts and as people. I am incredibly proud of them both. Brianna’s family has been beyond generous to my daughter over the years. They treat her like she is theirs. She has traveled with them, stayed with them and vacationed with them. I joke that in the summertime Brianna’s parents and I share custody of them. I wouldn’t have it any other way.

I am delighted that their friendship has remained steadfast. I have seen very few serious arguments. Very few typical girl squabbles. Maybe because they go to different schools, or maybe because they are just that close. For whatever reason it is, I am grateful.

Bri and Natalia are my 2 favorite subjects to photograph. Brianna will humor me almost as much as Natalia does.

Brianna’s Pop has moved in with them recently. It hasn’t been an easy adjustment for her. But it makes me giggle when he calls them “the 2 Pixies” . I have named my collection of photos of them over the years ” Pop Calls Them Pixies” in his honor.

I love to see their joy when they are together. Love to hear their laughter. Even love to hear them argue a bit over who gets to stand where or wear what. Because that just means they care. And caring is a good thing.

I lost my best friend when I was just 16 years old and I would give the world to hear her crazy laugh again. Or even just to argue with her.

These are a few of my favorite ( older) photos of them. My daughter’s schedule has been so crazy we haven’t seen much of Brianna lately. I’ve been waiting to get them both out in front of my lens again. It’s been too long. I’m sure my daughter will let me know when the time is right.