The Sort of Hope Whose Son Is 17

Jan 5th will always be one of the most special days to me.

It is the day that I gave birth to my son, Nicholas Michael.

Last year, for his 16th birthday, I made him this video. It has taken me a whole year to figure out how to convert it from “just tv viewing” to other viewing. At the risk of someone complaining ” Well, there’s 12 minutes of my life I’ll never get back.” I do realize that videos like this are rarely appreciated by anyone other than the family involved. I enjoy viewing things like this for more than just face value. I like to watch the evolution of film. The evolution of photography, and of someone’s talent. I like to watch how a child evolves, too. I like to see how their friends have grown as well.  Sometimes, people just take things for what they are worth and forget to actually ‘look’ at them.

Anyway…

I’ve always said that my son is the sort of child that I could wake up at 2 am and he’d smile at me and say ” what do you need, mom?”  He’s truly my SONshine.  My constant source of strength. Nick is quiet, but he is funny.  He is a lot like his father in that way.  He is talented, smart and handsome. He is strong, but gentle. But don’t ask him to sing!

Nick will flash me his smile with his dimple and I feel like I want to hand him the world. ( If  only I could). He works hard. He has a goal and I admire his determination.

Nick was 4 when I got sick. He probably doesn’t even remember a healthy mom or the things we used to do together.  And that’s ok. We’ve done plenty of different things together since then. He’s also grown into a more compassionate, empathetic, understanding young man because of my condition. So in a way, I guess it’s not all a bad thing.

So, before I cry ( again),  Happy 17th birthday to the biggest and best surprise of my life.

#YOU_TODAY~ 365 Challenge

#YOU_TODAY

 

That’s me today.

I’m shocked! ~my son is turning 17 in just a few short days.

I’m baffled, I’m electrified. I’m energized. I’m in a whirlwind. I’m in a state of denial and disbelief.

I’m in a frenzy to get rid of Christmas and get ready to make a birthday celebration!

In less than 2 years he’ll be gone. College bound ( I hope!)

I’m a birthday fairy. I believe that just about everything in life should be celebrated. ( I know I blogged about this before…)

I decorate the house for birthdays. I allow the birthday child to pick their favorite foods for at least a week. I spoil them as rotten as I can and as much as they will allow.

So today that’s me.^ In disbelief. Spinning. Shocked..

If I could give some advice to all my friends who are still lucky enough to have those tiny voices and tiny hands at home it would be to slow it down. To not wish it away. Though I know there are days that you feel drag on forever, realize that they, too will be gone before you know it.

Wondering about his future. Incredibly grateful for our past together.

And so very happy that he came into my life. (*not pictured)