The Sort of Hope Who Needs A Change

“In terms of days and moments lived, you’ll never again be as young as you are right now, so spend this day, the youth of your future, in a way that deflects regret. Invest in yourself. Have some fun. Do something important. Love somebody extra. In one sense, you’re just a kid, but a kid with enough years on her to know that every day is priceless. (418)”

― Victoria Moran~ Younger by the Day 

Chronic conditions are tough. 12 years of this gig, well, it’s really starting to get old. Read something that upset me. Knowing the little innuendos about your disease are one thing. Seeing them in black and white are all together different. Read an article in a medical journal that my specialist wrote about my disease. Studies done and the findings. I participated in most, if not all of the studies. It felt surreal . Like I was reading about a sick person. A very sick person. A very sick person who couldn’t possibly be me. Those symptoms belonged to someone else, certainly not me. ( Though they almost all did, much to my dismay.)

Sometimes the fighting gets hard. I wish at times that instead of being the warrior, someone else could fight the war for me and I could just watch and cheer from the sidelines. But in the “Handicapped Hope Handbook”  it clearly states that I will never ever allow myself to go backward. I am constantly trying to find new ways to stay motivated for the battle, to move forward.

I am restless. I have decided it is time to shake things up a bit. Changing the easiest thing to change. Myself. Hoping it will be just enough to get me back in the fight. Something new. A fresh perspective.

“Complacency is devastating”~ or so a friend of mine used to tell me.

Photo credit to a man from my old photography group named Rick.

Perfect shot for what’s about to happen….


5 thoughts on “The Sort of Hope Who Needs A Change

  1. A new turn in the journey, a different path through the forest (watch for trees for sale:), how exciting…..i foresee fear and trepidation on the heels of the forward momentum of Hope in Motion. 🙂

  2. Be sure to look at all of your successes, and not just your disease and what it’s done. Instead of thinking (or saying) “I was only able to make it to this or that” or “I missed this or that,” it’s much better to say, I was able to make it to.. “this part” or “that part.” CELEBRATE your victories, big and small!
    Look how far you’ve come from not having “K” to having “K!!!” You’ve done soo much more than you ever dreamed before that 2wk period of May, 09.
    Be proud of your accomplishments.

    If I may be so bold – start with that. I can only imagine the Hope you will be when you set your mind to changing. Just be sure to validate and celebrate all of your victories. Always remembering “How much you saw and did,” as opposed to “How much you missed.” Here’s to a better you! Love ya soul sis!

  3. I love , I mean love your quote , it is so moving, it is you…. You are forever challenging yourself , pushing the “limits”, accepting things and moving on , the things you love, you really LOVE , and you celebrate them. You have taught this girl more than a few things here and there. I think it is very normal, with a chronic condition/disease/sicknes to wish you could sit on the side line while someone else fights the war for you, but, as soon as you have the thought, you are already off on another adventure , or task needing your attention , that is surely not someone beaten down after 12 years. If you have cheerleaders , and you surely do, it is because you give plenty to cheer. On to this next adventure, may it bring you great satisfaction and even more, may it bring you joy ! Kudos to you , you surely inspire this girl constantly , to get off the sideline !!!

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