Not Me is alive and well and living in my house.
Just in case you’ve been missing him (?her?) ( Does anyone know not me’s gender or does it vary by instance?)
A few months ago I shared on FB that I performed one of my famous “mini human experiments” on family. The water cooler in our refrigerator was empty and instead of filling it as was my normal behavior, I decided to leave it sit empty to see how long it would take someone else to step up. I figured it would take at least a day or two, as I knew that I was not the only person in our home who had the desire for crisp cool water on a regular basis. Our refrigerator is also the kind that you can get water right out of the door from, but it is not as cold as we like it, so we keep this handy cooler filled up and right inside the refrigerator because we are spoiled and like our water very cold. I left for Philadelphia for a treatment at 5am on a Wed. and returned on a Friday at 2pm to find my experiment going strong. The empty cooler remained perched sadly on the shelf. One week later, the condition of the cooler was unchanged. When I finally broke down and announced this experiment to my family, you can imagine the accusations and the ‘not me’s’ that flew rampantly. According to the humans in the experiment, no one really ever took a drink from that cooler but me and no one even noticed it was empty. Yet surprisingly, when it was filled once it again, back to it’s chilly self sitting proudly, crisply back on the shelf “no one” had any trouble emptying it within a day.
I have performed many similar experiments over time. I don’t work much so I need to do these things to entertain myself.
The empty toilet paper roll slays me. ‘Not me’ used the last of it. When the new roll is placed in the bathroom this is the photo of what happens. OR as another mother friend of mine shared, the new roll simply goes on top of the old one. But never will the new one replace the old one in this house. Not me is lazy.
I also have a big pet peeve for when empty things remain in places. Empty shampoo bottles in the shower, empty boxes in cabinet drawers. But when I ask, “not me” must’ve been here because no one else knows anything about it.
Which brings me to my next pet peeve.
The communion wafer.
At what point is it OK to discard the soap? When I get into the shower and see a communion wafer sized soap waiting for me, I am angry. I am disappointed. I am sad. My whole shower experience is ruined. There will be no lather. No singing. And definitely no shaving for this gal. But when I question who was the last one in the shower, it was “not me” ( him again) or ask why no one replaced it no one knows anything about it. You would think I would be smart enough to look before I get in at this point, but I haven’t learned yet.
I keep hoping “not me” moved.